


scalding memories

by hoardedmolds



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:07:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21635236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoardedmolds/pseuds/hoardedmolds
Summary: Yoo Kihyun has a nightmare in which he is reminded of his long gone unjust past. His boyfriend, Hyunwoo, who is yet to uncover the life of the younger boy, tries his best to comfort him.
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu & Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	scalding memories

Tossing and turning. Kihyun’s sleep was especially distressing tonight as his daily concerns seeped into his unconsciousness. Thin sheath of cold sweat covered his shivering body, his eyebrows formed in a frown. What uncovered before his eyes was yet again the same creature, the same old piece of memory. The menacing figure hovering above him now was scrutinizing him - blaming him - once again.

  
‘’You ruined me, you hear me? You ruined my life. You shattered my content life into pieces, made a nobody out of me, and yet you dare to play the victim here? They were right to let you suffer’’ Each word he heard was getting more and more muffled as his breath quickened, dissipating into the unknown waters he seemed to be drowning in now. Kihyun knew what each muffled sound threw at him.

  
‘’I didn’t mean to, you know I didn’t mean to’’ Kihyun’s voice hitched, his walls were closing in on him now. Every breath he took scalded him, and every word he uttered hammered through the lump in his throat.

  
The figure didn’t seem to relent so easily ‘’Didn’t mean to have everyone outcast me? Didn’t mean to steal away all my dreams and hopes?’’  
Kihyun was heaving now, his anxiety was overwhelming yet he didn’t seek any reconciliation to his suffering. He firmly felt it would be best for everyone if he let himself go through the pain, as there was nothing he deserved more for what he has inflicted. Though he wanted to suffer, he still begged for mercy, for forgiveness, from the creature.

  
‘’I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to I’m so sorry I really-’’

  
‘’ Kihyun ah’’

  
‘’I really didn’t know, I didn’t want to-‘’

  
‘’Kihyun ah, Kihyun ah’’

  
Kihyun bolted, his abrupt rise numbed his senses as he ceased to register the shaking hands and the firm voice of his boyfriend. With ragged breath and cold sweat, Kihyun scanned his surroundings with his frantic eyes as they softened instantly when they landed on the ones of his concerned lover.  
‘’Hey’’ Hyunwoo cooed, rubbing his back waiting for him to catch his breath. Kihyun tried his hardest not to flinch from the soft touch, comfort was the last thing he seeked, it was the last thing he thought he deserved.

  
Meanwhile, Hyunwoo was shaken from the boy’s demeanor. He had never seen Kihyun so tense and hesitant with him, and the fact that the younger boy didn’t trust him with his worries after such a long time of knowing him made him feel insecure. Kihyun was still sat up straight, with his body visibly in distress as he hiccupped. Feeling Hyunwoo take his hands into his, Kihyun dared to look in the elder’s worried ones as he softly led his head to his chest.  
‘’It’s okay Kihyun ah, whatever it was it’s gone now, now that I’m with you, it’s gone’’

  
Kihyun didn’t want it to be gone. He wanted it to devour him in self-deprecation and persistent guilt. He wanted to pay for his wrongdoings through his pain. But as Hyunwoo’s strong arms crawled around him like ivy, as he felt his warm breath wrap him in a warm blanket and his steady heart drum against his, he gave up once again. He let himself be comforted, let himself push the creature back into his unconsciousness, back into the dusty shadows to be uncovered when disturbed yet again.

  
‘’I’m here, you don’t have to be sorry for anything’’  
Kihyun, with all his might, tried not to sob into Hyunwoo’s shirt. He didn’t want to worry the elder one, especially after he woke him up, but after Hyunwoo’s soothing words, which went straight into his aching heart, he failed to stifle the whimpers coming through.

  
‘’Shh my love it was just a nightmare’’ Hyunwoo rubbed his lovers back, waiting for him to steady his breath and fall asleep. ‘’It’s gone now, I promise, just listen to my voice and try to fall asleep’’. Kihyun kept sobbing and sobbing, feeling guiltier with each whimper.

He should’ve kept this to himself, he shouldn’t have let Hyunwoo notice his worries and let him into his past. Hyunwoo kept whispering comforting words, humming lowly in hopes of lulling him back to sleep.  
Though involuntarily, Kihyun felt himself fall back asleep from his boyfriends soothing rubs and deep voice. He once again felt defeated in this one sided battle, and dreaded to be reprimanded by his lover the next morning


End file.
